• I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic

    Augusten Burroughs
  • Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face

    Augusten Burroughs
  • I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stunned by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say, "Hi." They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word

    Augusten Burroughs
  • Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth

    Augusten Burroughs
  • I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory

    Augusten Burroughs
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