• Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates

    Bauvard
  • Envy is for people who don’t have the self-esteem to be jealous

    Bauvard
  • The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes

    Bauvard
  • The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners

    Bauvard
  • First people lose their hair, then their vices, then their motivation. Then a toupee brings it all flowing back

    Bauvard
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