• By the time you swear you're his,Shivering and sighing.And he vows his passion is,Infinite, undying.Lady make note of this --One of you is lying

    Dorothy Parker
  • In youth, it was a way I had,To do my best to please.And change, with every passing ladTo suit his theories.But now I know the things I knowAnd do the things I do,And if you do not like me so,To hell, my love, with you

    Dorothy Parker
  • Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common

    Dorothy Parker
  • I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host

    Dorothy Parker
  • Inventory:"Four be the things I am wiser to know:Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.Four be the things I'd been better without:Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.Three be the things I shall never attain:Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.Three be the things I shall have till I die:Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye

    Dorothy Parker
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