• [Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful

    Karl Pilkington
  • I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things

    Karl Pilkington
  • They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science

    Karl Pilkington
  • Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him

    Karl Pilkington
  • Stop looking at the walls, look out the window

    Karl Pilkington
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