A.D. Aliwat

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You can’t spell American without “I can

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I was nine when I figured out it’s better to be respected than liked

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There’s a reason why the Super Bowl is watched way more than the NBA Finals and World Series

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When you’re a professional athlete, you get paid millions of dollars for doing something that’s not only fun, but also physical and badass. You have fans: pathetic people without their own lives or hopes or dreams that measure their happiness on your weekly performance (this still boggles my mind, but in the best way possible—however, my role as a fan now is quite detached). You get to travel around to different cities and fuck their most beautiful women. You are given license to do pretty much whatever you want all the time, and are forgiven easily and often instantly when caught doing anything illegal. Professional athletes can literally get away with murder

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The kinds of jobs a fifteen-and-a-half-year-old can get are not worth doing. They pay shit and suck