Will Rogers

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Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people that they don't like

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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else

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All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance